psycho · fawn.

Mystic River. What a fucking good movie. Thought I'd share.

Oh yeah, this is how good my mom's lemon meringue looks:

What movie have you seen lately that's worth reccomending?

... I wish I could say it was huge amounts of work that have kept me up till this hour. That I am a responsible girl who will surely excell in her exams and first semester classes. But I've come to the realization that although my mind&body have known the best of stress, there are certain things that just don't have that effect on me. Exams, for example. Call me lucky or the very opposite --I'll try my very best to minimize all possible procrastination activities, but that's about a challenge as it is for me to recognize you without my glasses. At least I had a good long midnight conversation with my elderly brother; he's so wise&unwise & I aspire to such a contradiction. Staying up 'till hours digesting the darkest of chocolate & trying to figure out what I'm to do with myself is good enough for the moment.

Birthday Morning!

Woke up, came down the kitchen to find a bouquet of the most exquisite flowers on the table. I was treated to not one, but TWO slices of my favourite homemade lemon meringue pie for breakfast (coutesy of my mum) & a red robin perched by the window& made for a very nice addition.

**Birthday Night (ie now) will be spent dining on sushi with the famjam. I'm so pumped, honestly you have no idea, I haven't had it in basically years.

Cheers to being 17 & filling up on yummy foods!

ps. if you see me tomorrow, you better pretend like i look older. just don't tell me you're pretending... say it's the haircut, or something.

pps. yes, spain photos will be posted eventually.

i'll fight like a fighter, look, it's me down there.

i''ll spit in your face, & the only thing you'll say is how girly it was. but i don't mind because, now for the good stuff, & jesus, it really is good! (gosh damnit did i really use his name in vain?) i run the 100m sprint, which i've never done before. i'd always wanted to & finally i found the oxygen supply. that pesky little thing, it came without warning! i'm 17 soon, i've decided it's time i knew how to kung-fu like a master.

make up my mind, can't make up my mind. striving for it all or only for that, or whichever which way you'd prefer to put it. opinion opinion & yet another. so many to choose from, tell me what i want to hear but don't tell me it was the truth all along, boy would that ever stink! not trying hard enough, trying too too hard enough. the secretive life i live; an actor's fool (which is really quite ironic). dance dance dance, come round&round all the girls&boys. what a waste of bloody time. give me what i need -a good slap in the face: the realisitic approach. there is work to be done.

Last night i went to see the movie "Me & You & Everyone We Know".
After the movie we went to the bathroom, & my mom asks some random woman,
"So how'd you like it?"
to which the woman replies:
"Dat was sooo stuuupit. Nothing made sense!"

!st paycheck = $457.17... not too shabby.
being deducted from $502.53 because of taxes... a tad bit shabby.

i must admit i enjoy being a working gal.

lately has been spent in jeans & my i heart ny t-shirt. random jewlery finds have kept me excited, & of course there are the luxurious desserts. a new found spontaneity has kept me busy, although i'm always looking for new people to flaunt it with, honestly. i recently have learnt that i live in unionville, that i do infact have the ability to socialize in thornhill (i'd be more than happy to host all who are interested)& that apparently downtown is where i'll end up shortly. sometimes i worry that friends have gone missing, but then i assume that i am just being irrational and/or normal. you know what they say: "assuming makes an ass out of you & me". well then mazel tov! we're both asses; how relieving. thankfully i have found new & old ways to dress up my room to keep things fresh (a partial "thank-you" goes out to ikea locations everywhere, even thise in switzerland) & fascinations and successful attractions to things such as vibrant colours. cheers to awaiting my first paycheck & completing long-awaited shopping desires. cheers to surviving work in heat alert temperatures without air-conditioning, & being ready to strike at any moment, & to heck with the children!
i have been inspired to dream of life in venice, baguettes, & haute couture, & occasionally i wake up & realize i still don't have my G1.

ESTROGEN CHECK:
"You know you waaaaant it!"

TESTOSTERONE CHECK:
"Ohhhh yeeeeaaaah!"

I'm STILL living and breathing ALIVE 05.

Lend me some oxygen, I'm out of breath. I want to be trusted, I really do. Change is twisting away, into unreachable places. Saltwater is familiar at this very moment although I'd much rather it not be. A pain so unique, as it seeps into my veins. Tomorrow seems a million light years away. I'm not trapped, but I don't have the fuel to run necessary lengths. Please do not remove me of my chances.
I think I finally figured out my fears.

I'm almost there.

Attention: Msn is being a whore and yes, it is screwing everyone up.
However, it started working for me as of now, so go on... try again!

That is all.

I entered a game without any real idea of how the game was to be played. Unaware of the rules, I was a first-time player playing among experts. Not the easiest set-up. Nevertheless, I had faith in myself that experience playing would, one day, get me to their level of expertise. I thought others might have faith in my potential and although I didn't even give up, I was cut off the team.